The Love of My Life
Yesterday, I gave you a peak into my fatherless life. A life or eccentricity and so today, let me share my thoughts about that one person who made those 18 fatherless years bearable and totally worth it. Allow me to talk about the most important person in my life. Allow me to talk about my Mother.
My mom and I have always been close. Even if I only get to see her a maximum of 6 times a year, I've never felt like I couldn't talk to her and my cell phone bill would reflect just how much I try to fill my mom in with everything in my life. She knows every guy I've been out with, she knows where I go and even if I know I'll be in serious trouble, I tell her. I tell her everything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the perfect daughter. My sister has taken that title a long time ago and I don't think I'll ever even come close to how good of a daughter my sister is but I don't think there's a daughter in the world who loves her mom the way I do mine.
She wasn't a typical mom, either. Being a single parent, she was always out of the house, city or country on business. When I was in the first grade, it was my mom's assistant who came for my Girl Scout investiture, I never had help with my homeworks and I remember her being there only for my High School Graduation march. She didn't even see me receive my diploma. Looking back, those could have been the times when I would have resented how my life turned out and I'm not going to deny the fact that I did question why I had to deal with having only a parent while most had two. But somehow, I never really did. Young as I was back then, I reconciled within myself (though I don't remember how I came up with it) that "even if mama wanted to be with me, she can't". And I've carried that all these years.
Independence was something I had to instill within myself from the day my dad died. My mom, being a Regional Banker Manager (for Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, otherwise known as the Bank of the Banks) had to move around a lot and when dad died, she took on the life of a nomad herself and dragged us along. I have been to 10 different schools, 14 cities/regions because of her job and I think that's partly the reason why I don't have attachments at all. I'm so used to leaving and picking myself up elsewhere. I think it's safe to say that I grew up a little bit too fast. I was 5 years old when I first flew alone, I was managing my own bank account at 10 (with her knowledge and supervision of course) and the fact that I gravitate towards older now is a result of the exposure I got as a kid. I was around grown ups all my life and my mom never played the you're-too-young-for-this-conversation card on me. I always felt involved in her world even if most of my "buddies" where 40 years my seniors. So you see, I've lived a very unconventional life and although most of my experiences as a kid could have sparked rebellion in me, my mom was able to turn the unwanted circumstances we had and turned it to our advantage.
My mom has never made me feel like there was anything I couldn't do, she has always been my biggest fan. I can't remember a time when she did not support me or my decisions, no matter how down right stupid they were. She'd be there to lecture me about the wrong I've done but I've never felt like I was alone in my battles. I always knew Mama would be there to wipe away my tears and help me stand up. She has always been the perpetually shinning light, illuminating my rayless days. I can't imagine life without her.
She is, without a doubt, the most selfless person I know. In all the years of my father's death, I know remarrying never came close to her mind. She was busy ensuring bright futures for her girls and it's only now that I have come to realize the gravity of her sacrifice. No matter how much I promise her that I'll never leave her, I can never provide her the companionship my father took with him when he passed away. With her focus solely directed on work and us, I can never thank my mom enough for always putting my, our, best interest on top priority.
And I don't think anyone deserves the Best Mom Award more than she does.
As of today, Mama's assigned in Legazpi City which is an 11 hour drive from Manila. Last time I saw her was Valentines weekend but despite her physical absence, no one can inspirit me the way she does.
I have caused her a lot of heartaches but through it all, she remains my armor who shields me from all the hurt and in the process, never ceases to give me confidence to fight knowing full well that I'll be fine. Simply because she's there. And that was whether or not I needed her.
I can never fully word everything I want to tell her but I'm pretty sure she knows just how much I love her. I may not always show her my appreciation but I just hope she knows that everything I'm working on achieving is for her. I intend for all of my dreams, my big dreams, to materialize only because I want to make her proud. To hopefully one day, prove myself worthy enough to be called her daughter.
To my Mama, thank you for unconditionally loving me for all that I am, accepting everything I can't be (and do) and believing in whatever I am destined for.
Happy Mother's Day Ma, I love you.
My mom and I have always been close. Even if I only get to see her a maximum of 6 times a year, I've never felt like I couldn't talk to her and my cell phone bill would reflect just how much I try to fill my mom in with everything in my life. She knows every guy I've been out with, she knows where I go and even if I know I'll be in serious trouble, I tell her. I tell her everything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the perfect daughter. My sister has taken that title a long time ago and I don't think I'll ever even come close to how good of a daughter my sister is but I don't think there's a daughter in the world who loves her mom the way I do mine.
She wasn't a typical mom, either. Being a single parent, she was always out of the house, city or country on business. When I was in the first grade, it was my mom's assistant who came for my Girl Scout investiture, I never had help with my homeworks and I remember her being there only for my High School Graduation march. She didn't even see me receive my diploma. Looking back, those could have been the times when I would have resented how my life turned out and I'm not going to deny the fact that I did question why I had to deal with having only a parent while most had two. But somehow, I never really did. Young as I was back then, I reconciled within myself (though I don't remember how I came up with it) that "even if mama wanted to be with me, she can't". And I've carried that all these years.
Independence was something I had to instill within myself from the day my dad died. My mom, being a Regional Banker Manager (for Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, otherwise known as the Bank of the Banks) had to move around a lot and when dad died, she took on the life of a nomad herself and dragged us along. I have been to 10 different schools, 14 cities/regions because of her job and I think that's partly the reason why I don't have attachments at all. I'm so used to leaving and picking myself up elsewhere. I think it's safe to say that I grew up a little bit too fast. I was 5 years old when I first flew alone, I was managing my own bank account at 10 (with her knowledge and supervision of course) and the fact that I gravitate towards older now is a result of the exposure I got as a kid. I was around grown ups all my life and my mom never played the you're-too-young-for-this-conversation card on me. I always felt involved in her world even if most of my "buddies" where 40 years my seniors. So you see, I've lived a very unconventional life and although most of my experiences as a kid could have sparked rebellion in me, my mom was able to turn the unwanted circumstances we had and turned it to our advantage.
My mom has never made me feel like there was anything I couldn't do, she has always been my biggest fan. I can't remember a time when she did not support me or my decisions, no matter how down right stupid they were. She'd be there to lecture me about the wrong I've done but I've never felt like I was alone in my battles. I always knew Mama would be there to wipe away my tears and help me stand up. She has always been the perpetually shinning light, illuminating my rayless days. I can't imagine life without her.
She is, without a doubt, the most selfless person I know. In all the years of my father's death, I know remarrying never came close to her mind. She was busy ensuring bright futures for her girls and it's only now that I have come to realize the gravity of her sacrifice. No matter how much I promise her that I'll never leave her, I can never provide her the companionship my father took with him when he passed away. With her focus solely directed on work and us, I can never thank my mom enough for always putting my, our, best interest on top priority.
And I don't think anyone deserves the Best Mom Award more than she does.
As of today, Mama's assigned in Legazpi City which is an 11 hour drive from Manila. Last time I saw her was Valentines weekend but despite her physical absence, no one can inspirit me the way she does.
I have caused her a lot of heartaches but through it all, she remains my armor who shields me from all the hurt and in the process, never ceases to give me confidence to fight knowing full well that I'll be fine. Simply because she's there. And that was whether or not I needed her.
I can never fully word everything I want to tell her but I'm pretty sure she knows just how much I love her. I may not always show her my appreciation but I just hope she knows that everything I'm working on achieving is for her. I intend for all of my dreams, my big dreams, to materialize only because I want to make her proud. To hopefully one day, prove myself worthy enough to be called her daughter.
To my Mama, thank you for unconditionally loving me for all that I am, accepting everything I can't be (and do) and believing in whatever I am destined for.
Happy Mother's Day Ma, I love you.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home