Thursday, August 17, 2006

of sunshines, rainbows and tomorrows

Libra
August 18 Horoscope

The Bottom Line
Listen to others when they tell you to take it easy -- and ask them for ideas.

In Detail
It is not always easy to get the right perspective on your life -- especially right now, when things might feel a bit up in the air. But don't let unknown variables add too much stress to this current situation. Today you will have time to take a step back and let go of the idea that you have to control every little detail. Listen to other people and ask them for ideas when they tell you to take it easy. They might suggest something that sparks your creativity in an exciting new way.


This can't be anymore true.

I can't get over how hard things have been for me lately.. Been trying to get a hold of myself and my emotions before they again leave me empty. I am a blank canvas right now eager to have myself painted.. All my plans are liquified and God knows when I'll be able to grasp on them again.

I am in a daze.. A parallel universe of some sort where no one and nothing else exist.. Might I add, it's pitch black. I have always been certain of myself and of what I wanted to do but I guess there will always come a time when a reconstruction is inevitable.

A part of me is filled with gaiety knowing full well that I am a very blessed person. I take my cue from the wonderful things, experiences and memories I have been fortunate enough to have. I am happy and I am contented. I am complete in the aspects most people might still be in search of.. But I am lonely. And just so you know, being alone sucks.

Majorly.

I open my heart to the possibility of free falling to the unknown. How unchartered the territory can be will continuously plague me but I have decided to keep my head up knowing all too well that there is no battle that I can not endure so long as I have His hand wrapped around mine. I know there will be bumpy roads, terrible terrains and all things disastrous and horrible but I also know there will be smiles and laughters and happiness.

Life has its ups and downs. There are good and bad days. Now the sun may be up there beaming fiercely and the next, cats and dogs might be pouring down but that's not what matters. What matters is that no matter how uncertain, unpredictable, lonely, cruel and harsh life can be just like the weather, I know it takes both the sun and the rain to make a rainbow.

I cried myself to sleep last night but it was one of those moments when I was happiest. Happiest at recognizing everything about me and my life. I have had a tough journey and I know this is only the beginning. Heck i'm only 20. I chose to smile and await the bright sunshines of each day welcoming every bit of experience I can take in. I will bask in the glory of hope and celebrate the promise of tomorrow because I know I deserve all the happiness I am about to partake.

I will one day come full circle with myself. Time will come when I really will be okay.. I know I will.

I just don't know when.

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