Heads or Tails
I woke up today with a seering pain in my head and the heaviest heart. As the sun slowly slid into presence, wide awake that I was, it dawned on me how uncannily random my life is. Stuff just keeps happening and just how bizzare they can get will amaze anyone who'd sit and listen.
My life has had such oddball situations that I play back during moments of temporary dullness and they happen to be pretty entertaining and it never fails to astonish me at how much i've had on my plate.
I'm 21.. Only 21.
I am all for fate having been set even before we were born; I believe that the cosmos have sealed into forever how my life will be but come on.. You gotta give me something here. A clue, a sign, something solid to rest my head against. Something.
Anything.
My life has been illuminated by experiences and people worth mentioning. I had a wonderful childhood, a childhood that wasn't quite a childhood since I had to grow up fast. I had to drill certain things in my head not quite fit for an 8 year old. I had to be my own mom and dad while being the "kid" I was and it wasn't easy. But looking back, I don't think I would want it any other way.
I had a blessed, good life full of people who have somehow proved to me that I was a good person only because I deserved their love. I think the escapades i've had has made my life come full circle in a lot of ways and I trust that it can only get better.
But here and now again, I am back in that trance-like state where I am befuddled and in sheer agony as to what and how my life will unfold.
I was telling a friend just now how much of a coin I feel right now. A coin geared up to be flipped and in a single flick, my life will turn a good 360 degrees. A big part of me can't help but feel agitated to be stuck in this limbo but I know He has His reasons. It's His call and I sincerely leave it up to Him.
No one would know how to engineer my life better than He does and I know whatever His Final Say will be, it's all for the best.
*prayers will be appreciated
My life has had such oddball situations that I play back during moments of temporary dullness and they happen to be pretty entertaining and it never fails to astonish me at how much i've had on my plate.
I'm 21.. Only 21.
I am all for fate having been set even before we were born; I believe that the cosmos have sealed into forever how my life will be but come on.. You gotta give me something here. A clue, a sign, something solid to rest my head against. Something.
Anything.
My life has been illuminated by experiences and people worth mentioning. I had a wonderful childhood, a childhood that wasn't quite a childhood since I had to grow up fast. I had to drill certain things in my head not quite fit for an 8 year old. I had to be my own mom and dad while being the "kid" I was and it wasn't easy. But looking back, I don't think I would want it any other way.
I had a blessed, good life full of people who have somehow proved to me that I was a good person only because I deserved their love. I think the escapades i've had has made my life come full circle in a lot of ways and I trust that it can only get better.
But here and now again, I am back in that trance-like state where I am befuddled and in sheer agony as to what and how my life will unfold.
I was telling a friend just now how much of a coin I feel right now. A coin geared up to be flipped and in a single flick, my life will turn a good 360 degrees. A big part of me can't help but feel agitated to be stuck in this limbo but I know He has His reasons. It's His call and I sincerely leave it up to Him.
No one would know how to engineer my life better than He does and I know whatever His Final Say will be, it's all for the best.
*prayers will be appreciated
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home