Cold enough for snow

Raph (my best friend of almost 20 years) and I had quite a long chat just tonight. He and his almost Fiance had a row and for a moment there I thought they were really calling it quits. They've been at it for days and I could tell that Raph was taking it very badly. No wonder he's been dropping me weird emails and testimonials but apparently, he knew how much I had on my plate too so he kept mum about his own love brou-haha. But I guess the pressure tonight was just too much. We spoke over YM (through the call service) and he was just, broken. All my life, it was him who stood there wiping away my tears when I felt I didn't have the energy to even do that. He was always the big brother I never had and I always felt very protected knowing that he got my back. And seeing (via webcam) and hearing him spill out everything he's been bottling up inside made me just as weak.

He finally poured out everything he's been concealing and oh God is my best friend destroyed.

He left for a while and told me to just wait cause he had to swing by his girlfriend's place to pick up his stuff and asked me to wait. I did. About an hour after, he buzzed me and told me keep December 8 open because..

THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED.

I didn't know whether to feel happy or slap him silly. I was about to go on with my what-were-you-thinking speech when I suddenly calmed down and asked, "Why?" And he gave me probably the most endearing (and ironically so common) answer of all: "I just can't let her go". I didn't have to ask him to elaborate. I saw it in his eyes and I heard his voice chuckle in that funny way he does whenever he's overjoyed. I've never seen him that happy and quite frankly, it's about time.

So had Kae (best friend to both Raph & I) come online so we could talk and when I told her the news, all she could say was "Wow, makes you now wonder when enough is enough, huh?" And before I could ask her to expound on that, she got cut off and I just got a text message from her saying she can't reconnect and that we'll talk tomorrow (later).

But what she said struck a chord in me cause she's right you know, when is enough enough? When do you fight and when do you just put your foot down and say It's over. It's done. I want out. When is that triggering time? When is that moment the moment?

I thought about it while walking home from school tonight and from personal experience, I'd say there is no set time or triggering moment or anything of that sort. It's always very relative to what you can and cannot take any longer but me? I'm not much for the I've-had-it stuffs because I've always wanted to fight and I believe so much in working it out. With that said, I know in my heart of hearts that Raph, Kae and I were truly meant to be friends. We're a bunch of let's-work-it-out-and-never-let-go kind of people and it's pretty inspiring to know 2 people who are giving their relationships the same amount of "all out" that you are to yours.

If there's anything that these two people taught me on love, it's that when you truly love somebody, it never is a question of what you're going to get. Instead it's always what you're willing to give. And with true love, I've learned, means giving nothing short of everything.

And boy, am I doing (and giving) just that.

I leave you now with a few lines from one of my favorite songs, Fall Again by Glenn Lewis. I think this will cap off everything I want to say on this whole enough-is-enough issue:

"You’ll try everything you never thought would work before.

When you live, when you love, and you give them your all,

You can always give up some more"

With that, I park my uh.. hands and go visit dreamland. To Raph and Jordan, my Congratulations! I hope you give me and Kae lots en lots en lots of inaanaks (godchildren)!