Crap-Ville all over again
The blasted internet connection is zapped, leaving me on the brink of insanity. I can't believe that I had to cross the oceans to prove that the grass is not always (make that almost never) greener on the other side.. I am on the "other side" and it's in a murky mud-dark color.
Yes, this is again of of those get-me-out-of-this-place-i-wanna-go-home kind of entry, the kind of entry that might not even relate to you how miserable everything has been. I mean it's enough that I'm thousand to millions of miles away from the very people and things that makes my heart beat but it's another to be literally stuck in a place where time stands still whenever hell's starting to break lose.. if you know what I mean.
This bites. This sucks. Just horrible.
It's not the city.. It's not the people.. It's not even the weather -okay, maybe a teeny tiny bit.. It's more of.. How do I put this nicely? It's how everything in my life suddenly turned cold turkey. I feel like my insides are crystalizing as I type with the pure absence of love and genuine affection. It gets really lonely here and as much as I wanna be positive and be grateful for the opportunity of being here.. I don't think I've ever been sadder in my entire life. I feel like half of me is missing and that the half with me now is slowly dying a pathetic, miserable and in a moronic glacial pace of a death.
The last time I cried myself to sleep every night was when my grandfather died some 11 years ago. I never thought anything could have been as unbearable as losing the only man I have come to know as my father but alas.. Life's surprises never fails to stun me. The tears just keep flooding in and they're not showing any sign of leaving.
I hate this. Get me out of here.
Yes, this is again of of those get-me-out-of-this-place-i-wanna-go-home kind of entry, the kind of entry that might not even relate to you how miserable everything has been. I mean it's enough that I'm thousand to millions of miles away from the very people and things that makes my heart beat but it's another to be literally stuck in a place where time stands still whenever hell's starting to break lose.. if you know what I mean.
This bites. This sucks. Just horrible.
It's not the city.. It's not the people.. It's not even the weather -okay, maybe a teeny tiny bit.. It's more of.. How do I put this nicely? It's how everything in my life suddenly turned cold turkey. I feel like my insides are crystalizing as I type with the pure absence of love and genuine affection. It gets really lonely here and as much as I wanna be positive and be grateful for the opportunity of being here.. I don't think I've ever been sadder in my entire life. I feel like half of me is missing and that the half with me now is slowly dying a pathetic, miserable and in a moronic glacial pace of a death.
The last time I cried myself to sleep every night was when my grandfather died some 11 years ago. I never thought anything could have been as unbearable as losing the only man I have come to know as my father but alas.. Life's surprises never fails to stun me. The tears just keep flooding in and they're not showing any sign of leaving.
I hate this. Get me out of here.
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